Tuesday, September 12, 2006

my newest obsession

A couple of weeks ago the Teiggy one asked me if I obsessed about
anything. And I didn't think I did. Truely. There's no thing that
woud make me crazy. No idea that would shake me if it was challenged.

That was before I spent upwards of 8 hours searching for a photo.

I can't find it.

I believe it to be somewhere on my computer. I've searched through
thousands of photos. Over and over.

I've seen photos of other peoples babies and people I can barely
remember. People in hospital. Landscapes I can not place. Animals
that have long since died. Couples long broken up and moved on. Side
by side with the photos of all the intimate minutae of my last five
years.

I've brushed over photos of my children just born and in various
stages of less tiny. My animals. Myself. Xade. My family. It's
all a blur.

But I can't find it.

Nothing else seems as important to me at this point. I need it.

It was of a kiss three years ago. It was simple and happy and loving
and sexy and uncomplicated.

And I want it back.

posted by johana at 11:38 am

21 Comments:

  • Things like that don't just disappear.

    But sometimes they do.

    By Blogger Tript, at 11:51 am  

  • I hate it

    Hate it

    Hate it

    When things $%&# disappear

    Hope you find it

    > No idea that would shake me if it was challenged.

    When I said 'obsessive' I didn't mean, like, bigoted or fanatical about a particular belief or view of things or way of viewing things.

    I meant, like, temperamentally inclined to lock onto things (ideas, people, artefacts, phenomena, irritating missing photos, whatever) and to become monomaniacally preoccupied with them to a degree that others would tend to regard as extreme or excessive.

    Obsessiveness is a characteristic of wilful people.

    I don't think it's inherently a bad thing at all (although it can be undermining), it's a special power

    >Nothing else seems as important to me at this point. I
    >need it.

    Uh huh.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:20 pm  

  • "When I said 'obsessive' I didn't mean, like, bigoted or fanatical about a particular belief or view of things or way of viewing things.

    I meant, like, temperamentally inclined to lock onto things (ideas, people, artefacts, phenomena, irritating missing photos, whatever) and to become monomaniacally preoccupied with them to a degree that others would tend to regard as extreme or excessive."

    Ya. I gotcha but I was under the thrall of my crazy finding that photo mania. Which I still haven't fricken found! I've been through like 4000 photos! How can it not be there?!

    Fuck.

    I bet it was deleted...

    By Blogger johana, at 5:34 pm  

  • That sucks man

    By Blogger Mishuki, at 7:06 pm  

  • >>Obsessiveness is a characteristic of wilful people.<<

    Or people who don't have enough will to turn away :P

    *ducks for cover*

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:04 pm  

  • I would make a distinction between 'wilfulness' and 'willpower'. They're related but different. One is a generally fairly deep-rooted character trait, whilst the other is an acquirable skill set. (Did you like that? I just said 'skill set')

    Being willfull necessitates cultivating willpower. Very wilful + no willpower = early grave.

    By Blogger teigan, at 11:28 am  

  • Hey I lost my ticket for Motion City Soundtrack at The Astoria, that sucks too although the sentimental value is somewhat less.

    I intend to find my ticket...

    By Blogger Hamish, at 10:16 am  

  • You will find your ticket

    (Actually I've no idea if you will or not)

    But if you 'will' 'find it', you will find it

    I spect

    By Blogger teigan, at 12:47 am  

  • Hey, I found it!

    I lay my success on sigils, although I should perhaps just thank my drummer.

    By Blogger Hamish, at 3:55 am  

  • Dammit, new names make things confusing... But you guys are all so clever! I just know you'll understand :)

    By Blogger Hamish, at 3:56 am  

  • Your faith is touching

    By Blogger teigan, at 11:45 am  

  • I much prefer Hamish. *MUCH* :D

    By Blogger johana, at 11:13 am  

  • You mean out of everyone?

    Or compared to my old name?

    I think you meant out of everyone =)

    By Blogger Hamish, at 8:54 pm  

  • :P Definitly m'dear. ; )

    By Blogger johana, at 10:19 pm  

  • For all her quality blog-based surrealism needs

    Queen Jo prefers.. Hamish (tm)

    Now with extra real name and face goodness!

    Damn straight

    By Blogger teigan, at 11:04 am  

  • I think Hamish should do a post here....

    since I've gone and stalled and all...

    what do you think?

    By Blogger johana, at 11:12 am  

  • being that you're new and improved and all...

    we're all about new and improved over here.

    all about it.

    By Blogger johana, at 11:14 am  

  • You mean like a special guest? I'd love it way much.

    By Blogger Hamish, at 10:12 pm  

  • Really? Awesome! :D

    You should get to doing that then. :D

    Yay!

    By Blogger johana, at 11:25 am  

  • More like, you should.

    By Blogger Hamish, at 8:18 pm  

  • :D done.

    have yourself some fun.

    By Blogger johana, at 11:38 pm  
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