I've been told I need to post more often... several times really. There are a couple of reasons why I haven't been.

My avenue for somewhat impersonal cam posts has now been somewhat restricted thanks to some members of management seeing what I've posted of late as inappropriate. No. Not even posting the email addies. That was a slap on the wrist. Apparently opinions need to be kept to a minimum for risk of expulsion.

The other reason is that I haven't been doing overly much with leaves me with what's been going on in the ol' head. Whoever said being pregnant was a bunch of roses was a liar and a fiend and should be sentenced to an eternity of it. There's the actual physically beng sick bit and then there's all these irrational emotions. I don't, most generally, do the emotional bit overly often but I've been so sad and so angry and, just for kicks, happy and excited. It's all confusing and awful. I hate not being in control of myself. Hate it. And now I cry??

It's fun and cute and exciting to feel the baby kick and all but I don't have the image of myself all fat in my head yet. Every time I look in the mirror there I am. Enormous. I know it's not fat it's baby and I know it's a shallow thing to care about but I do care. And if one more person tells me that it's a ridiculous thing to care I'll... I'll... cry?

(wow. My mum just called. she said it was 'silly' and that 'carrying a baby' is both 'wonderful' and 'special' and 'to be cherished'. *groan*)

So yes unstable. That's pretty much why the lack of postage from me.