more diplomatic at work...

what are those things called. Those things that you get at the end of
the year. With your pay summary for the year on it. That you use to
do your tax. That I'm supposed to do... here at work. Where I still
am even though it's 6PM (my goodness! gives self gold star)

Bother. I can't remember what they're called and how am I supposed to
be able to produce said bits of handy dandy bit of paper if I'm having
a mental blank on what they're called? : (

*takes gold star away*...

mope.

I want to go out. I'm not invited anywhere and everyone's all "I'm
sick" "I'm busy" I'm... not doing anything..."

bother.

Get a wee green dot so I can harrass someone already. I'm at work...
and faced with work unless I find a distraction like....

....

....

now.

*checks*

....

damnit.

no dots.

fuck.

tax hey. Why did I pick the most boring job in existance?

Seriously.

Like rolling my finger down past "extreme sportsperson" and "fireman"
and I hit "bookkeeper"

bookkeeper

seriously

I do people tax and pays and whatnot (not like library bookkeeper... )

oh joy.

How am I supposed to want to do that. Particularly after a boozy
three hour lunch. It's unreasonable! Unfair!

i need a union.

totally.

We were standing by her graveside and all I could think of was how
utterly inadequate I feel in the face of death but worse, how poor I
was in her life. She used to want me to call her more and I didn't.
She wanted to see the kids more and I didn't make it happen. She had
her issues and because I had my own shit to deal with I put off making
contact with her. And then she died.

I didn't think people just died like that. Indy asked me why and I
told her to feel her little heartbeat. "Nana X's heart just stopped
beating"

Surely peoples hearts don't just stop beating though. How does a
thing like that just happen? And at 44. Surely that's not right.
Surely that's not fair.

I hoped she realised what a remarkable woman I thought she was. How I
had appreciated her honesty even if I hadn't always really wanted to
hear what she had to say. How I admired her generosity and unfettered
compassion especially in the face of having more than enough of her
own to deal with. How I admired her.

Standing there at her graveside I just hoped that she realised that me
being inadeqate was just that- my failing, not hers.

Seriously?!

I was discussing the whole Israeli thing with Andrew, my step-father,
the other day and about how I think killing civilians is unjustified.
Ya know. Murder and all that.

His argument was that if Lebanon united against Hezbollah rather than
just getting pissed at the Israelis then they might be able to avert
the issue and that Israel shouldn't have to put up with terrorist
attacks. At the time my reply, stupidly enough, was- but.. but...
they're probably really pissed. And Lebanon, not really known for
being united.

But what happened to global unity? Acts of terrorism shouldn't have
to be tolerated but is the guns blazing approach really so accepted
these days that it's become the only way? This Lebanon business is
not quite as ratshit as the Palestine vs Israel debacle so methinkies
that mayhaps the UN could step in on this one, or could have. If
forcing Lebanese to take action against terrorists in Lebanon is the
desired endpoint of this travesty, why not do that by muzzling Israel
for a wee bit and putting trade embargo's and whatnot in place for a
while to see if that bears any fruit. It'd still be punishing the
country as a whole for the misdeeds of the minority but bombing
residential areas it wouldn't be.

Am I just being totally vague and naive? I'm just starting to come
out of the fog that's been the last couple of months so speak up if I
am. It wouldn't be a surprise.

As it stands, I'm waiting for Syria to get their back up about being
threatened and start rallying their neighbours as well. Iran might
start getting a wee bit antsy about now. When Israel looks to be in
real trouble the states will prolly step up in a more real way. When
they do we'll be right their at their side continuing to give their
idiot in chief the mind blowing head that he misses out on at home.
The Brits may hesitate a bit due to the slaps on the wrists Blair got
for mindlessly following the States last time. Me thinks they might
think about it first and then join the coalition of sheep. In weighs
the rest of the Middle Eastern states. Oohhh Saudi Arabia could be
our new Switzerland.I doubt anyone would want their loverly oil lines
being blown up any time in the near future. Except for maybe those
damned terrorist... sneaky beasts. Talk about biting the hand that
feeds you. Haven't seen that before... ; )

And then, whilst everyone's busy beating the crap outta each other for
no real reason except that we haven't been down that path on a grand
scale for like 50 years North Korea could see its big chance for
revenge and start hurling those nifty new missiles at Japan. Surely
someone bigger and badder would have to respond to that. The states
would really have over extended their military at this stage. The
rest of Europe? Russia? Russia v. China. It's on baby.

I'd just like to say now that I'm kinda glad I learnt rudimentary
Indonesian in Primary school.

monkey fuckers

too fucking much.

everything needs to back the fuck off....

what's going on? everythings fucking wrong.