Wednesday, November 15, 2006

this is the last goodbye

Xade and I are over.

He packed up and left last night.

It hailed for hours today. 

Fitting.

posted by johana at 6:16 pm | 7 comments

Monday, November 13, 2006

And it's an ordinary sky

Today's like any other day.

*le sigh*
I love Bic.

Two thumbs up to Indy's kinder in their choice of substitute teacher. It's probably bad form to be checking out your kids kinder teacher... But hey. Eye candy's eye candy. mmm... Strangely familiar eye candy though which is slightly disconcerting... But definitely a fine choice...

It's probably worse form to be asking my three year old ethical questions she has little to no hope of being able to answer.

She loves the fish at my mums house. My mums dog periodically eats the fish. I don't know if this is what happened. I do know that sitting at the cafe after kinder Indy's face rearranged itself into it's most serious little expression.

"Grandpa ate the fish"
"huh?"
"Grandpa ate the goldfish at nanas house" (looking just a mite bit teary)
"Did he now?"
"Yes. Mary-Joy and I watched him. We didn't stop him. We just ran away."
"So you and Mary-Joy just watched him, hey? Then don't you think it might be, perhaps, a bit your fault that the fish got eaten? Because you saw it and didn't stop it?"
(shocked) "But we were scared. We ran away. Nana should have stopped him from eating the fish!"
"But you saw him do it. And you just ran away. I don't know Ins... Sounds like you should have told him not to eat the fish to me.... "

She's going to hate me when she grows up. I can just feel it. I'm fairly certain it was a game. I wouldn't just randomly blame the murder of pets on a three year old. Incidentally.

So. Anyway. Sitting sitting at the cafe. Eating. Chatting. Going through her many artworks. This guy comes in. I swear- he was deaf with Tourettes. He was sitting there eating and then all would be dropped and he'd be waving both hands like a nutter. Dorian thought it was great. He loves waving. Then BAM! The crazy sign language started. I swear he was all "Fuck! Shit! POSSUM!!!" I wish I knew sign language. Then more crazy signing and wild waving so on.

Deaf with Tourettes. I think. There's a fair chance he could have just been run of the mill insane with poor impulse control, as is not uncommon in crazy people in my experience. But Tourettes would be much funner. Anyone who knows me, know I love me some random barking.

Oh yeah.

posted by johana at 1:58 pm | 6 comments

Thursday, November 09, 2006

les bonbons mous sexy

J'ai ete trouve par un type francais recherchant les bonbons mous sexy.

Actually jellybean sexy with some wacky capitalisation. But bable fish didn't feel inclined to tell me if the French have a word for 'jellybeans'. It instead spat out "soft sexy candies".

And I'm good with that.
I really am.

(edit: due to all my french punctuation going all skew-whiff up there, I've taken it out. Stupid skew-whiff punctuation. Dont ya just hate that??)

(edit: skewiff. skew-iff. It's a word in my head. I swear it.)

(edit: you learn something new every day. It's skew-whiff, evidently. And it's British. Good to know. :) )

posted by johana at 2:50 pm | 4 comments

Monday, November 06, 2006

holidays are good or posting late is the lazy mans way to blog

We had to pick the girl up from Torquay (like a month ago now.... *blush* )so we rolled out of bed at about 2 and decided that perhaps we'd like to stay in Anglesea for the night. We got to Anglesea and decided that perhaps we'd like to stay for two nights. Before the first night was over, we sorta went bugger it,we'll drive to Warnambool. So we did. :D

Aireys Inlet - where the Indy one first saw and fell in love with lighthouses and we discovered that sand moving at speed can indeed flay the skin off your legs. We also discovered that Dorain is terrified of the sea, is phobic in his dislike for the feel of sand and is really not as beachy or outdoorsy as one would hope their child to be. I assumed that he'd probably get used to it. I assumed wrong. : )










































We also found out that horse rides, a lot cheaper than one may have imagined. Indy on Amber-




This may have been a mistake. She now insists on riding the broom around the house whilst wearing a cowboy hat taking out pictures and her brother and such.

After that there was a bunch of driving, stopping at beaches to play in rock pools, buying emergency supplies at one horse tourist towns and celebrating the fact that our kids fall straight to sleep in the car. Yay! :D

And then...
And then....


iiieeeee!

Johanna beach! :D

!!!!!

For reasons that are confusing and not really suitable for publication I gots me the name Johana after this beach in highschool. You may or may not have noticed that it seems to have stuck. I spent 6 years wanting to visit and I finally made it. :D iiieeee! :D Terrible exciting. Even if it did give me nightmares. Graphic and disturbing nightmares.


Shall I go into it? I shall methinks.

So Indy kept running down into the water line on the beach whilst I kept anxiously fetching her back and reminding her that yes, all that crazy surf would smash her wee body into a zillion bits if a big wave came in. (This is back story, not the dream)

Anyhoo, in the dream she ignored me. I turned my back on her for a second. She screamed and I turned around to see that wave dragging her off into the frothing waves. I ran in behind her. I'm struggling to keep her head up but it's futile. The waves are much too strong. It's hard enough to hold her We just keep getting tumbled under the waves. The waters roaring in my ears but I see on the beach. Xade puts Dorian on the sand and starts running towards us. I try to scream to object but he dives in. We're gone.

Dorian's sitting on the beach alone sand stretching out on either side. Him a tiny dot in the middle. He's distressed. He starts to cry. Looking around he starts to crawl towards the sea.

Anyhoo. It freaked me out. As nasty dreams tend to do. Stupid dreams

In reality Dorian prolly would have sat there and cried, trying desperately not to touch the sand like a nuff.. Dork that he is. :D

Next up was driving around trying to find accommodation somewhere in between Johanna and the not so 12 apostles. Dodgy pubs are handy.






They're purty.
Driving away Indy promptly dubbed them "the twelve possums". :D
She didn't actually care much about them until she later saw them on a postcard in Port Campbell. Then they were supercool.






We drove on the back road through farmland and stopped at a beach along shipwreck coast that shared a name with a certain infamous town with a burnt backpackers


Then it was pretty much onto Warnambool and the WHALES!!! :D Yay! I saw whales. *does happy dance*

They were quite nifty, I gotta say :D

So big and close in doing their tail flippy bits and rolling around on their side. Like big, fat, lazy water... cats?

Then all the way back down to Queenscliffe for a couple of nights where w discovered (quickly) that we didn't have enough cash to actually eat there... Joy. Muesli bar, apples and pumpkin seed bread it is then.. Mmmm... pumpkin seed bread.

We drank at the home of the words largest cocktail in Sorrento (yay boats. :D )
















and ran into a very enormous tree



Then drove another couple of hours into rural Victoria to get a babysitter. Much recuperation was needed. And by recuperation I mean drinking. Clearly. :D

So yes. Yay holidays! :D
Yay! late posting!

Less yay for blogger costing me a couple of hours to upload the pics.
*shakes fist at blogger* As per usual really.... ; )

posted by johana at 9:00 am | 78 comments

throwing puppies into mincers since 1983

Awww...  Mishuki.  Ta for the reminder.  Tres sweet of you.  And yes.  It is really my fault and it is really pathetic.  Embaressingly so.  It's his fault that he's a jackass corpse fucker though.  I'm not taking the hit for that.  I told him how I thought today though.  It prompted a guilt fuelled trip to Melbourne to see me.  I, very maturely, planned to leave the house right before he arrived and made him wait for an hour outside the house in the car looking very sorry for himself.  Heh.  That'll teach him.  Well it wont, but it made me snicker in a nasty place deep inside.  Right before I feel guilty and mean.  I'm good like that.  ; )

Dorians birthday was fab.  We had a barbecue.  We had some family and friends over.  Indys best friend came.  It was all rather chilled out, just like the kiddo.  I made red velvet cupcakes

If I had uploaded the photos here's where I'd post one like so I haven't though so you'll have to let your imagination and the visual aide cover it for now.  A heads up - my kids cuter than all those ones.  So something like that.  But cuter.  Much much cuter.  With red cake. 

I believe I may have been inspired though.  I must post more.  And *reads back post thus far* I must make a more sincere effort to post whole sentences.  I now pledge, whilst hopped up on cold meat off yesterdays barbecue and warm heatery/wine goodness, to post more often and less shittily.  If I wasn't so hopped up on meat stuffs I could have probably organised a better way of saying all that just now...

Someone accused me this week of being too lazy.  Too lazy to even post myself.  I'd like to take a moment to thank Hamish for his much appreciated posts on my old smoggy blog here.  I feel we really needed more on thiefing around these parts.  ; )



posted by johana at 1:13 am | 2 comments

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Lets call the whole thing off

It was my boys birthday.

Remind me to post about it later.

My dad didn't even call.  Sometimes I hate that man so fucking much.  I don't understand how he can still make me feel like that sad twelve year old sitting in the gutter waiting for her daddy to turn up on her birthday.  I don't want my kids to know him.  I don't ever want him to have the power to make them feel this way.

Piece of shit.

He doesn't know what he's missing out on.  He doesn't seem to care much either though.  He cares enough to lie to his friends. 

Fucker.

posted by johana at 11:15 am | 1 comments