TORI'S COMING!!!


iiieeee!!!

I was brought up in a pretty strict Baptist family at least till I was 7. When I was 7 the church kicked out the minister because his wife was associating with the daughters of the devil ie rape victims and my parents seperated. This all served to bring about changes in the no smoking, no drinking, no swearing, no Santa environment my mum had till then, had happening. All the same it was church every Sunday, prayers every night and 'God Bless You' as I went to sleep. Throughout I believed fiercely, privately and largely unquestioningly.

Then came the great disenchantment. I found out that I didn't at all like a great number of Christian folk. Not based on personality but based on belief structures and how they lived their faith, or didn't live it as the case may be. Then I decided it wasn't Christian people I didn't like but 'The Church' itself and what it seemed to foster in church-goers. I'm referring here to the judgement, intolerance, self-righteousness and hypocrisy that's been rife in every church I've been too.

Ever since I've been constructing and refining a belief structure in my head. I have my own delicatly balanced set of prinicples and what not in my head.

Some times I still find myself longing for the old ways though. I just want someone else to tell me what to believe. I want 2000 years of excuses to fall back on when I'm questioned. I want all the love and compassion and communion I was assured was real when I was a child.

More than anything I want a fall back position when I don't have the words. I want to be able to put happy endings on everything. Heavens a wonderful place, it's Gods Will, angels and eternal life and all things that are good and sweet unless you stray from the clearly marked path.

I know all the right things to say and do but I just don't feel it anymore.

My mum moved to the country a year or so ago... Not country town country but real surrounded by huge farms with thousands of sheep country. She took her two little dogs with her.

There was always the possibility of them running into a snake and coming out worse off and mum said that she had been preparing herself for it just in case. Obviously not preparing well enough... : (

The assignment we've all been waiting for details of with much baited breath will be very soon coming to an inbox near you, or so I've been told. In the meantime though the most lovely Mr Hastings has let me know that it's 'something to do with Neurocam career advancement opportunities'... Hmmm... Delightfully delightful.

Another little bitch to follow up from last week- Nobody get Origin Energy. I had this guy tuurn up on my doorstep yesterday and he just wouldn't go away. It took me a good 10-15 minutes to get rid of him.I ran through all my get-out-of-my-face lines like:

Me: "OK well I'll think about it and give Origin a call"
Him: No no you can't do that. This is only for door to door sales.
Me: "look I'm sorry but I'm just not interested right now"
Him: Are you not interested in savings or do you not care about the environment?
(Very abbreviated, of course)
He said that AGL doesn't have a Green option which they clearly do.

He kept insisting that I go get my gas and electricity bills so he could compare the rates. I don't know about most people but I'm simply not comfortable getting out personal information and handing it over to aggresive salespeople who rock up at my door.

The only thing that worked was when after being accused of hating the environment quite a number of times, I said "I'm sorry but I'm not comfortable having things pushed at me at my door" He looked at me like I was the worst thing that had happened to the environment since the invention of the car and conceded that yes it was my choice and if that's what I ireally wanted... He actually did this hugely dramatic shakespearian bow as he said this. Jerk.

I am beyond cranky at the minute. We took the girl to a doctors last night, he hardly looked at her, he didn't listen to a word I said, leading to much repeating of myself AND he talked on the phone through most of the time I was in his office. Not in the "oh just a second. I really have to take this. Sorry" way but in the way that he picked up the phone whilst I was mid sentence DIALLED and chatted away.

This was after waiting FOUR HOURS to see him due to his who... receptionist being totally incompetant.

Just for reference- Don't ever ever go Coburg Family Medical Centre.

Now I have a two year old trying to be brave. "Is sore mummy. Is a bit sore" And then the face crumples...

Bastard

UPDATE: The girl seems to be doing a bit better this morning. She slept till nearly 11 so she should be feeling alright... :D She is pointing out all the tummys in a lingerie catalogue at the minute. "Ohhh! Tummy! Tickie tummy. Bery Cute" Has got to be a good sign, right?

Thanks to those who asked after her and sent healing little one vibes our way- I think they did the trick. :)

ANOTHER UPDATE: The girl is fine now! Thank-you so much to everybody who asked after her and sent best wishes.

my head spins around. It spi... Yeah. That's more than enough. But seriously. It does. And I'm all a itching for a Mr Hastings or Knight to get back to me so I can be all caring and sharing. All this secret keeping is really testing my xxxxxxxxx....

UPDATE: It could very well be quite a wait. The lovely Mr Knight wont give me a date :( Stupid no date...

unowhoiam said...

Your demise is comeing to an end. Your worth is worthless.
You are the lowest of the low.
You are the bottom of neurocam.
You are below boy.
You are not scary.
I will always wun.

RH

7:06 AM

Is this guy the recent imposter, sender of creepy emails and writer of dodgy comments? He doesn't really seem... bright enough.

Who else got an email from the Cam?

The child ceased being a delight yesterday afternoon. I left her alone for a couple of minutes, she broke into the bathroom and coated herself in lipstick (not a first) and *NAIL POLISH*... Nail poish is not easy to get off child when thickly coated and there's no nail polish remover in the house. It's really really difficult to get off the bench and the tiles and particularly the grout inbetween the tiles, even with nail polish remover. Oh. And Nail polish remover takes the writing off our washing machine, just as a note for the future. Grrragh!

I so want this week to be over already. Even the cats are being trouble. Yesterday Maxax shattered a bottle and today Paris smashed a plate... Definitly I think we should auction them on ebay... Or give them to the RSPCA. One of the two.

All I'm thinking about to get me through is the fact that we're in the midst of THREE 4 day weeks, what with Labour day and Easter. And weekends are lovely.

Last weekend, for example, we finished our kitchen (more xade finished our kitchen than 'we' but hey... I helped) and we hung out, hung out with the girl. Monday was great. We took the girl to Moomba and watched the water skiiers (turns out that they are the coolest things her little eyes have beheld thus far), fed her corn on a stick (she has a major thing for corn of all things) and put her on a ride. The ride was just those cars that go around in circles but they went pretty fast so they were kinda like Little Kids Cars to the EXTREME!!!! Yeah... kinda like that. Anyways. She made this gorgeous little face that was proud, excited, a little scared and embaressed that was so beautiful and growed up and turned us into total goons, all standing there and cheering her on and getting her to mmake the face again. Mmm... There are reasons why I persist with her (Can you auction children on ebay?)

Anyways. Weekends are great, weekdays suck and I wanna go to bed.

bu... did you put sunscreen on the teddy bear?

*silence*

hey. did you put cream on the bear?

*nod nod*

perhaps you're too young for this bear. thanks for telling the truth.

*excited*
The bear was HOT!!! Bear was HOT!!!!

She is just such a goon... :D

I got to Level 101 in Gothador! :D Yay! And I'm all greenskinny and I have Thump which doubles my damage...

I hit things this hard:
Attack: 195
Defence: 32
AC: 107
DMG: 248-250

Yay that hard! Now I'll go back to wincing and wishing the whole thing wasn't so fun...

Stupid nerds and their stupid games...

Stupid rubs off....

rather enjoying being Mr Mysterioso, me thinks

Ohhhh! Is all purdy like! Thank-you Bran! Yell out if you're loving Brandelions work everybody! :D

iiieee! I'm so excited!

Mwahaha! My blogs so much cuter than yours xadey-boy! :D

*Stares around wide eyed* Changes are all a-happening around here. Soon I wont hardly recognise the place. Yay! Thank-you Bran! (A little in advance. Xade email her that thing that she needs already!)

An update on the smoking thing... I used to be a little miss smokes-too-much with my *hangs head* recent gross peak of 15 a day but now I'm down to like 3... Yes that's right. I don't have the willpower to be quitting cold turkey but I'm doing my best. I hope to be rid of the scourge completely by the end of the week. I think I need some engrossing games/activities to keep my mind off it. *hint hint*

About that Neurocam, anyone found those masks yet? I've had to buy them before but in a different city for a vastly different reason and now I don't know where to be looking for them... Stupid masks. In some ways I am such a bad fit for Neurocam. I hate hate hate those white masks. I hate wearing them, I hate seeing them, I hate their very existence. They just creep me out. Anyway- need a mask *shudder* so if anyones found them could let me know where from. That would be fabbo.

The girl has taken to drawing little intricate things with her face pressed against the paper. The chick on Play School just started singing in Spanish so bu fetched her maracas and salsaed away like a little senorita... She has much experience in the salsa-ing. It used to be her nana and papa buzzes only way of getting her off to sleep. Anyways. Drawing with great concentration and sashaying around the loungeroom. The child is enchanting and beautiful. Just as well...

ok... We have The Swan on as daytime TV these days. It's repulsive. Like revolting. These women go in unattractive and come out monsters.

They wander around for three months exercising like mad women with their heads held together with bandages in complete agony just to come out of it with over-pumped boobs and lips and stretched skin. I don't have any real feminist/moralistic objections to plastic surgery in and of itself but this just seems perverse.

They do realise that plastic surgery isn't forever don't they? Each bit that they get done is only going to last them for a few years before needing to be redone. Man they're going to feel ugly then...

Gah!

Anyone got any sure fire ways to quit smoking? I mean like fool proof... This is really hurting me. Much more than it should... I need to relearn how to relax minus the evil sticks. That's what I need. Yes indeed. Otherwise I'm going to revert to rhyming and that's going to hurt everyone.

I figure with the increased traffic thanks to teigan and the lovely lady j there's gotta be someone who can help me...

This little Neuro-reveal that I've done here has certainly increased the ol' traffic around the place. You should all stick around and see the most exciting and wonderful design the gorgeous Queen of Lethargy brandelion has got in the works for me. Is going to be loverly.

Now. Back to chewing my nails and mucnhing candy and staring longingly at the place outside I used to be able to sit and smoke... None of this works god damnit! None of it! All I want is that lushious nicotiney smoke drifting down my little throat and corrupting my lungs... Honestly! Everything from lighting them up to the calming repetivness of actually smoking to the byproduct that is sitting outside under my tree with a book and forgetting my woes... :(

Breath in breath out... I gotta go get myself some sleep.